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Breaking: Messi claims record fifth Ballon D’or

Some breaking news now from the largest celebration in football that makes you call bullshit on the sport being ‘a team game’, pah!

The latest is that Lionel Messi has claimed a fifth Ballon D’or, beating pretend nemesis Ronaldo and teammate Neymar to the award.

On receiving his prize, he commented;

“It’s a very special moment for me, winning another Ballon d’Or after being in the audience watching Cristiano win the last two years.

“I want to thank all who voted for me and my teammates who without none of this would be possible.

“I want to thank football for everything it has brought me – both bad and good, it has helped me grow.
“Thank you. ”

Much more to come………