All-in-all, thing’s seemed to go as predicted this footballing season. Chelsea romped to a Premier League title with a stable yet deadly Mourinho built side, Gerrard’s final season petered out to an embarrasing nothing and Mike Ashley continued to bleed Newcastle for everything their worth.
There were of course some moments of utter strangeness/brilliance.
Here’s our picks….
1. 59 year old Samuel Eto’o played for Everton
Samuel Eto’o’s time at Everton seems like something from a mad dream. Despite the creaking legs of his 33 year old legs, the former Barcelona striker had a hell of a lot to offer any Premier League club.
At the time Martinez commented;
To have Samuel Eto’o at our club is like a gift from the footballing gods.
His finishing is of the highest calibre but it’s important that we give him the right amount of playing time.
I’m really excited to see how he’ll adapt in the second half of the season. His experience and know-how have been important
Needless to say Senor Martinez never got to see his man in the second half of the season. After 1 win in 13, Eto’o quickly jumped ship come January to a Sampdoria side chasing a Champions League place.
2. Leicester humiliating Man Utd
Whilst much of United’s post Alex Ferguson fall from grace was an inexhaustible source of much hilarity, things just got plain wierd when United faced Leicester at the King Power stadium a month into the new season.
Buoyed by the signing of Angel Di Maria , The Red Devils were rampant from the get go, making the home side gawp at their new founded attacking potential.
Just as United were in control 15 minutes into the second half, things turned sour as Leicester threw the kitchen sink at Van Gaal’s side, United’s unremarkably bland backline of Rojo, Blackett, Evans and Rafeal coming in for a torrid afternoon.
At 57 minutes United were 3-1 up, come the final whistle Leicester had claimed a quite ridiculous 5-3 victory.
The result seemingly weirded out Nigel Pearson’s side as much as anyone, so much so it would in-fact be 13 games until the Foxes would win again.
3. The many many ‘Guards of honours’
Good lord they were throwing them around. Gerrard, the Chelsea side and Falcao* all got one.
*Falcao didn’t get one.
4. Raging Bull-shit? – Rooney’s knockout blow
Whether setting fire to their own bathroom or shooting weaponry at students, Premier League players get bored. Wayne Rooney and Phil Bardsley were so bored one evening they decided to box seven bells out of each other in the England International’s own kitchen.
Was it a fake? or did the United striker genuinly get sparked out? One things for sure he very nearly took a sharp blow to the head when falling near that kitchen surface.
5. Jones’s intentional sliding faceplant
Nothing could perfectly sum up the man Sir Alex Ferguson compared to Duncan Edwards more than his epic face tackle against Olivier Giroud.
With the Frenchman bearing down on goal, like a primed and ready Jason Bourne, Jones used everything in his arsenal to deflect the incoming danger. Namely his massive gurning face.
Just wonderful…
6. Van Gaal’s love for the Sax
There really is no way round it, the man is a strange one. With his off beat behaviour and borderline incomprehensible media exchanges, Louis Van Gaal may well be the type of strange that the Premier League needs. If Manchester United aren’t entertaining on the pitch, he sure as hell will be off of it.
United’s end of season bash was testement to this. After a raucous speach bellowing his players to believe in themselves, Van Gaal re entered the stage to demand an applause for a saxophonist that performed earlier in the night.
And why the hell not.
7. Altidore adores Aguero
It can be assumed, whilst some go on to score just a handful throughout the season for various reasons, Premier League strikers all fall into the category of talented professional’s. Some find their rhythm, some falter because, hey, it’s the PREMIER League.
Jozy Altidore however, the American striker who failed to net a single goal for his club Sunderland, knew without a shadow of a doubt that Sergio Aguero’s footballing talent vastly dwarfs his own.
We know this information from a short 5 second sequence. It really says it all.
8. The Roy Hodgson vine
We were all very surprised by what an excellent combination Roy Hodgson and a 6 second vine was.
All Courtesy of vonstrenginho https://vine.co/espressino
9. Pat Murphy chastises Nigel Pearson
With Leicester City’s miraculous turn in fortunes leading to the infamous ‘Ostrich-gate’, in which Foxes boss Nigel Pearson, after a season of unusual stress induced behaviour, gave it both barrels to a reporter questioning his comment that his side had received criticism.
Pearson apologised for his lack of manners (and human decency) come the following press conference. However, It all seemed a little like the former Middlesbrough centre back had been let off the hook somehow.
Step forward the sport’s journalist avenger, Pat Murphy, who grilled Pearson within an inch of his life over his disrespect of the media, even going as far as recommending anger management for the highly strung manager.
Nigel Pearson from reports can be a blood nice chap, he did however break the one rule no human being should break – Never under any circumstances be a bell-end.
10. The FBI busts some FIFA asses
A perfect way to end the season – Our American cousins, whilst you can be sure that own agendas have taken precedence, went and actually…like in real life…arrested high ranking FIFA delegates on corruption charges.
Whilst the world was shouting for someone to do something, undercover agents were secretly whispering ‘shut-up’ as years of evidence was slowly being gathered.
Like a Martin Scorsese scene (Preferably with the Rolling Stones’s ‘Gimme Shelter’ playing over the top) Swiss police arrested seven of the 14 officials charged by the US Department of Justice all at once whilst they stayed at the five-star Bauer au Lac hotel in Zurich.
Mental.